Ronald hasn’t got a Kloeman as Toffee’s sticky run continues and life’s a Bilic for Slav’s Hammers who got another nailing.
The race is on to get to the front of the job centre queue as the managerial merry-go-round picks up pace. Make sure that Football Manager Champions League win with Hemel Hempstead Town is on your CV; you might get a phone call.
Another woeful outing from Everton at Goodison Park on Sunday with Arsenal mauling their way to a 5-2 win after Idrissa Gana Gueye eye saw red midway through the second half.
An early Wayne Rooney strike had one or two dreaming of a turn in fortunes but much like a midweek defeat to Lyon in the Europa League Everton hit the self-destruct button.
Defensively shambolic, offensively blunt and not a lot in the middle really sums up how, despite the millions invested, the clock has been ticking for a while.
We all dream of a team of number tens… True, but just ask the Blues on Merseyside if it’s practical. Spoiler – it’s not.
Gylfi Sigurdsson, Davy Klaassen and Wayne Rooney were all brought in for big bucks in the window but without a genuine goal threat to combine with, finding the back of the net has been rare.
The question of Koeman’s influence in the recruitment has to be raised. If he has sanctioned the move for three like-for-like players, and failed to buy a proven goalscorer with the £150million summer spending, then he’s been digging his own grave since June.
His shopping list must have looked more basic than a University freshers.
Just three teams have scored less than free spending Everton in the Premier League this season, Swansea, Huddersfield Town and Crystal Palace. To be fair, Rooney has scored more on nights out this season than his side has in the Premier League.
Similar questions cannot be asked of Slaven Bilic in the capital, however. Joe Hart, Marko Arnautavic and Javier Hernandez arriving in the summer was arguably the shrewdest business of them all but results and performances have not followed.
With the ninth highest net spend in the window and the recent return of Andy Carroll the Hammers squad looks in the best shape it has for sometime. It’s a different story for Slav’s hairline though, which is looking barer than the home end did at fulltime on Friday night.
It’s worth pointing out the obvious, but a lack of invention going forward and a leaky rearguard are never going to stand you in good stead.
The London Stadium must cease to become a go-to excuse. A season deep into their tenure, if you’ve not adapted yet or dealt with the change, that’s purely unacceptable.
And, that said, many of those wearing claret and blue won’t have experienced much of an Upton Park life so it’s a cop-out that needs to be muted. The fans, rightly so, miss the atmosphere, the prestige and the football from the Boleyn but you have to move with the times.
It seems more of a stylistic crisis with numerous attempts to play direct on Friday night to the five-foot-nine-inch Hernandez who is hardly the ideal target man. I mean, imagine playing catch with Wolverine, it’s going to be a waste of time and a waste of a good ball.
A 3-0 home defeat to a newly promoted side will always invite pressure and, as good as Brighton were, West Ham were nothing short of an embarrassment.
They say it’s not the defeats that cause pain it’s the manner of them and for both of these sides the lack of inspiration or motivation on the field of play has the faithful chewing the corners off the match day programme.
It may be Halloween season, but the scariest thing for both managers is their league position. Neither can feel hard done by if they are shown the door in the coming hours as these managerial horror stories have already written their own nightmare endings.
It’s worth pointing out, both sets of owners have stuck by men under pressure previously, so it wouldn’t be unheard of to see them in the dugout for their midweek cup outings… Both sides have tough ties though so it might be more beneficial to their final win percentage if they were ousted before then.
The Hammers hierarchy may have their eye on saving a few quid knowing Bilic’ is out of contract in the summer but will they bulk at the price and sulk at the performance? Or pay up to make sure they stay up.
Farhad Moshiri’s billions may be enough attract some of Europe’s elite bosses into the dressing room or will he trust the Dutchman currently in the hot seat and open the chequebook again in January to find a fix… If it’s not too late.
Bookies have been slashing their odds on both to get the chop and with markets open for both successors it could be a case of when, not if.
Early favorites are David Unsworth (Everton) and Manuel Pellegrini (West Ham) but names like David Moyes, Roberto Mancini and Carlo Ancelotti have also been floated around… Although, If either could get King Carlo back in the country I’ll print this off and tuck into it for my lunch.
Two wonderful football clubs, steeped in history, backed by the loyalist of fanbases and realistic expectations, whoever takes over (if the posts become available) will have a mouthwatering project if they can find the formula.
Thanks for reading,
Take it easy,